Although we did not meet our lofty, and most important team goal of drinking 350 pitchers of Jesus Juice, all was not lost this record breaking season. There are some things that we can salvage as we move forward towards next season. River was spotted on the drinking scene so often this year, we ALMOST forgot how much of a pussy he really is, and how small of a contribution he makes to the Rangers legendary drinking prowess. Secondly, due to the extreme intoxication that took place, several new Ranger "Secret" handshakes were invented, along with a laundry list of timeless quotes. We've had our ups and downs, 3 pitchers all the way to 30. We've seen men falling off bar stools and dancing to "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" like a bunch of teenage girls at a Justin Timberlake concert. We have shared in the glory of a demolished bathroom door and lived to tell the tale, all while Lucas danced around us half nude. Maybe next year he'll grow the huevos to bear it all. And who can forget the establishment of The Chuck Norris Choke Hold! Many a Ranger has fallen to its might. Here's to you Chuck, for making the life of a drunken Ranger that much more dangerous!
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