Rangers/Black Sox Postponed - 5/31/07

Tonight's game versus the Black Sox has been postponed due to rain and poor field conditions.

We are tentatively scheduled to make this game up tomorrow, Friday, June 1 at 5:50 pm at Winnemac Park.

Rangers vs. Electrons Rescheduled

The rained out game originally scheduled for Sunday, May 27th versus the Electrons will be played on Monday, June 25 at 5:50 pm at Winnemac Park.

Thoughts from the Scorekeeper

I'm torn regarding statistics and courtesy runners. In the past I have always credited the runner with runs scored, stolen bases and caught stealings.

The more I think about it, though, the more I don't like it.

I am considering crediting stolen bases and caught stealings to the courtesy runner and crediting runs scored to the batter whom was run for.

This brings up another question....should a courtesy runner be credited with a game played? If a player does nothing but acts as a courtesy runner, they never officially entered the game. In this case, they most definitely not credited with an inning played (much like a DH).

What do you all think?

Rangers vs. Black Sox Preview

The Rangers (3-2) take on the North Side Black Sox (2-1) at Winnemac Park on Thursday, May 31. Both teams are riding a 1 game winning streak coming into Thursday's game.

Historically, the Rangers are 3-7 against the Sox club. Before 2004, when the Black Sox called themselves the White Sox, the Rangers were 0-4 against them. Since their name change in 2004, the Rangers and Black Sox are even at 3 games a piece.

In 2 games in 2006, the two clubs split the series. The Rangers won game 2 of the 2006 season series 17-3 on July 15. Eric Morrissey was the hero of that game going 3-4 with 3 RBIs at the plate to complement his 5 inning 4 hit performance on the hill. Morrissey recorded 9 strikeouts on his way to the victory.

Tomorrow's game will be the 150th game in Rangers history.

Neither club has announced their starting pitchers.

Chicago Rangers Reach Milestone

The Chicago Rangers are scheduled to play their 150th game in their 6 year history on Thursday, May 31. The Rangers will take on the Northside Black Sox at Winnemac Park at 5:50 on Thursday night.

Sitting on 149 games played, the Rangers have compiled the following statistics:

76-73 (.510) all time record

40-44 (.476) in intra-division games

36-29 (.554) in inter-division games

38-37 (.507) in weekend games

33-36 (.478) in weekend games

The Rangers have played 71 games at Winnemac Park (more than any other park in the league). They have compiled a 42-29 (.592) record at their home field.

The Rangers have played both the Browns and Vikings 17 times to make those teams their most common opponents. The Rangers are 3-14 (.176) against the Browns. Against the Vikings, the Rangers are 6-11 (.353)

The Rangers played their 100th game on June 25th, 2005. The Rangers lost that game to the Marlins by a score of 9-5 at Winnemac Park before a crowd of not very many.

Beer Count - 5/30/07

After a disappointing loss to the Marlins of Park Ridge on Thursday, May 24, the Rangers drank their sorrows away at Hooters - O'Hare to the tune of 10 pitchers while racking up a tab of $180.

The Rangers got back to their winning ways on Tuesday, May 29 as they defeated the expansion Hounds 8-3. After the big win, the Rangers celebrated in style at Hooters - O'Hare. The proud Rangers sucked down 8 pitchers and tallied a bill of $132.06.

On the season, the Rangers have put away 88 pitchers and have contributed $1234.82 to the U.S. economy.

The Rangers are averaging 8 pitchers drank and a bar tab of $112.26 per visit. At the current pace, the Rangers will drink 264 pitchers of beer and spend a total of $3704.58 in 2007.

Rangers Look to Muzzle The Hounds

The Rangers return to action this Tuesday, May 29 when they take on the CMBA's newest franchise, The Chicago Hounds at 5:50 pm at Taft High School.

2007 marks the Hounds first year in the league. After 4 games, the Hounds are still searching for their first win.

The Rangers have struggled at the unfriendly confines of Taft High School. In 22 games at the Northwest yard, the Rangers have mustered only 5 wins. The Rangers are coming into Tuesday's contest riding a 3 game losing streak at Taft.

The Rangers last win at Taft came last year on June 29 in a 9-7 win over the Vikings. Rangers slugger Isaiah Panatsis led that attack by going 3-4 and backing up a James Keathley 10 hit complete game win.

Rangers vs. Electrons Postponed

The Rangers game versus the Electrons originally scheduled for Sunday, May 27 was postponed due to rain and poor field conditions.

No make-up date has been announced. Stay tuned for a make up date and time.

The Rangers take on the expansion Hounds on Tuesday, May 29 at 5:50 pm at Taft High School.

Lucas Luecke to miss game

Taking full advantage of the Roger Clemens' clause he wrote into his own contract, general manager/right fielder/ chief landscaper, Lucas Luecke will be skipping Sunday's game to spend time with his family. When reached for comment, Luecke proclaimed, "I deserve this after putting up with these guys for the last 6 seasons!" Coach Brannon declared, "Luecke has earned this right and his presence will be sorely missed on the field and in the bar. However this will mark at least the 4th time Luecke has failed to come to the bar following a game or practice, this may put his #2 drinker status in jeopardy." The Rangers' loss is Freeport's gain.

Rangers vs. Marlins Preview

The Rangers take on the 1st place Park Ridge Marlins at Southwest Park in Park Ridge on Thursday, May 24th at 5:50 pm.

The Rangers were swept by the Marlins 3-0 in 2006. The Rangers' last win against the Marlins came on May 26, 2005 at Southwest Park when the Rangers won by a score of 9-7 behind the solid pitching of Alex Christian. Kevin Casey went 3-4 in that game with 2 runs scored, 2 RBIs and 2 stolen bases.

In the all time series against the Marlins, the Rangers are 2-11. The Rangers are 1-9 at Southwest Park.

The Rangers will send Jonathan Kohn (1-0 0.00 ERA) to the hill to square off with the intra-divisional foe.

Luecke Leaves Team to Follow Life Long Dream

According to a source close to the team, Chicago Rangers founder and head blogsman Lucas Luecke has left the Chicago Rangers to pursue what he calls "a life long dream."

Calls to Luecke were not immediately answered, but some amateur Internet research has made a probable link to the following available position with the Schaumburg Flyers club:

http://www.flyersbaseball.com/employment.asp#27

Luecke has been quoted in the past as saying "I would jump at the first opportunity to get off this God Forsaken team [Rangers]" When asked to elaborate on those comments, Luecke went on to say "I like to rake stuff."

Ranger spokesperson and 16th man Tom Heindl had this to say about Luecke's departure "well, I guess that opens up that best drinker #2 slot on the all time rankings. It's for the better."

Rangers Announce Uniform Number Changes

Alonzo Hillard will wear uniform number 7.

Jonathan Kohn will wear uniform number 10.

Nick Monroe will wear uniform number 44.

Tony Litzey will wear uniform number 99.

B.R. Koehnemann's uniform number has not yet been announced.

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rangers

I hope everyone has an extra pair of pants in close proximity after reading this post. The one and only Lesley Gore, she of "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" fame, will be playing in Chicago June 15 at the Old Town School of Folk Music.

And don't worry...the Rangers don't have a game that date. Rangers Comptroller Lucas Luecke said the franchise will purchase tickets for all interested players and their dates, who most likely will be other men.

2007 Chicago Rangers Media Guide

Hey guys- I am in process of developing the Chicago Rangers Media Guide for 2007. Please give me some suggestions about what should be included in the media guide. I also will need some guys to write articles for the guide such as the history of the Rangers, a review of last season, and the outlook for this upcoming season. Other article ideas are greatly appreciated. Things that I have in it already are:

• schedule
• roster
• "quick facts" about the Rangers (if you can think of any good "quick facts about the Rangers, please send them my way)
• time line (if there is anything that you think must be included in the time line, please let me know what the event was and what the date was if you can remember it)
• Season outlook article (not written yet)
• 2006 season review (not written yet)
• History of the Rangers (not written yet)
• Player Bios (not written yet, but I was thinking of either having everyone do their own bio or have someone write a bio for one other player on the team)
• Statistics? (will need career stats, but other than that this is still up in the air depending of the depth we want to get into, i.e. career stats are Winnemac, career stats on weekends, etc.)

I have created a template for the media guide already and can send it to you to look at and if you have any comments, let me know and I can change it if necessary.

The Rangers Flag Flies

At Riis Park this past weekend, the Rangers flag flies as the team begins its CMBA run.

Rangers flag

Ranger game delayed on Sunday

This past Sunday the Rangers were scheduled to do battle with Aviators at 930 A.M. However, the game was delayed for nearly 45 minutes after Isaiah "The Bible-beater" Panatsis forced both teams to study the Bible before we could take the field. Both teams had to give into Isaiah's demands as we were all afraid of his heightening roid rage. Eventually Isaiah put his Bible down and allowed us to proceed with the game and the Rangers, under the guidance of our Lord, defeated the Aviators 13-1. God bless you Isaiah.

The Captian is Back!

After a few lackluster off season appearences in which he appeard to be a well rounded, intellectual, and mature individual, Kevin "Godfather" Casey was back to his old self this weekend. "Busch Light"brought the Rangers to a whole new level with his antics, consuming massive amounts of Bud Light while managing to stay upright most of the time, only falling off a barstool once, much to the amusement of the patrons of Gios! All the rangers can say is Welcome Back Kevin!

Beer Count - 5/20/07

After their win against the Oriole Park Cubs on Saturday, May 19th, the Rangers guzzled a whopping 20 pitchers of beer and racked up a bill of $225.39 at Gio's.

With the few healthy liver cells they had left, the Rangers managed to pound 5 pitchers on Sunday at Hooter's. That bill came to $141.14.

On the season, the Rangers have drank 70 pitchers and racked up a bar tab of $922.76. The Rangers are on pace to drink 256 pitchers in 2007.

Top 10 Chicago Rangers Drinkers

So, the idea for the list was thought of, where else, but Gio's. There are many people missing from this list who probably could belong, but they didn't meet enough of the criteria specs. The criteria used for this list goes as follows:

-A player who raises others around them to a new level of drinking

-A player who is funny

-A player who may fall down time to time while intoxicated

-A player who can drink

-A player who is an expert drinker (i.e. doesn't waste beer, can chug, etc.)

-A player who will constantly buy more pitchers for the table

-A player who loves the taste of Gio Shots

-A player who doesn't leave the bar until all beer has been consumed, so like 5-6 hours

-A player who is knowledgeable about the appropriate music to select on the jukebox

-A player who will drink car bombs if his dart misses the dart board

-A player who has parties at his house

This list has been verified by empirical evidence that these are the 10 best drinkers of all-time on the Chicago Rangers:

10) Dan Jeserig- Although "Big Rig" has not been around the Rangers in a couple of years, he would always be the first one to suggest going to Hooters after a Rangers game. He makes the list also because he would buy beer for Tim before he was 21.

9) Keston/Kelvin McCabe- The twins were renowned for their drinking abilities including a shotgun challenge of busch light at the Rangers party in 2004. They were always up for drinking after a game and they were good friends with "hot Estonian" girls.

8) Mike LaRocco- "Heartattack" throws a Rangers party every year at his house after one of the last games at Riis Park. Mike has been quoted as saying that he "loves drinking." We all love drinking Mike, we all do.

7) Dan O'Malley- Dan O'Malley was one of the first people to show up at Gios after a Rangers game. He would get there early, order a couple pitchers of beer and then start pouring them over all the players on the team. Although he loses some spots for wasting beer, Dan's dance to sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows is quite intoxicating. While drinking, Dan has had a history of losing his pants on a neighbor's lawn only to have the Chicago Police Department return them the next day.

6) Bob Wacker- Bob is by trade a Cardinals fan, but that doesn't stop him from partaking in north side drinking outings. Wacker's love of the tasty barley and hops is not lost on the rest of the team as he used to show up to almost all games either drunk or hungover, but that is actually most of the team. He also umped a Loyola baseball game once while drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels on the field. He has been known to fall in closets and moon other Rangers out of a moon roof while the car was moving along Irving Park during a BBQ fight.

5) Isaiah Panatsis- Don't let this guy's quiet demeanor fool you. He can throw back his fair share of alcoholic beverages and then beat you on the dart board. Isaiah never turns down an opportunity to hit the bars. He is one of the first Rangers to arrive at Gios after a Rangers game is one of the last to leave.

4) Tim Brannon- Tim usually needs to drink a couple beers after a game just to calm him down. Tim, known as one of the hottest heads in the CMBA, loves drinking. He is usually one of the few Rangers who are ready for a beer even before a Rangers game has started. He is usually the last guy to leave Gios and does not leave the bar until all beer has been consumed. Tim also makes sure that the table is sufficiently filled with pitchers so no one has the opportunity to slow down their drinking. We all salute you Tim.
3) Kevin Casey- The man of many nicknames usually gets his nicknames while intoxicated. Kevin is known as Captain Cuatro in some circles for his small "size," he is also known as the Godfather due to his drinking prowess. He raises others to new levels of drinking while continually falling off stools. A third nickname, Busch Light, can attributed to Kevin's belief that Busch Light is the best beer that has ever been created. He has been known to throw back a few BL's.

2) Lucas Luecke- One can see Luke partaking in many alcoholic beverages at Gios while in his "pimp suit." One of the best GM's in the league, his drinking has increased since Tim Brannon took over the team in 2005 and who can blame him. Luke also loves drinking and he is an ace on the jukebox as he always selects sunshine lollipops and rainbows. Luke is an expert drinker as he has inked deals with Gios Sports Bar and Hooters as the official sponsors of the Rangers.

1) Jason Thorn- What can you say about this guy? This guy will out drink anyone. He is not shy about taking off his pants to moon you even while driving. This guy elevates everyone to a higher level of drinking with his presence. He has been known to drink many car bombs in one sitting and has an innate ability to chug beer. Thorn will let you know when you are not drinking enough when he tells you to "quit your whining." Thorn is the best drinker on the Chicago Rangers.

Upcoming Weekend Games

The Chicago Rangers will play 2 games this Saturday and Sunday, May 19th and 20th.

On Saturday, the Rangers take on the Oriole Park Cubs at 9:30 am at Winnemac Park. In 2006, the Rangers took the season series 2-1 from the Cubs. The Rangers are 6-4 lifetime against the Oriole Park Cubs. The Rangers are expected to send second year pitcher Eric Morrissey to the hill. In his first year with the Rangers last season, Morrissey compiled a 4-3 record with a 3.82 era. Morrissey led the staff last season in innings pitched (51.1) and strike outs (49).

On Sunday, the Rangers take on the Chicago Aviators at 9:30 am at Riis Park. 2007 marks the Aviators' third season in the CMBA. In five previous contests, the Rangers hold a 5-0 record. This marks the Rangers' first visit to Riis Park in 2007. In 21 games, the Rangers hold a 14-7 record lifetime at Riis. The Rangers lifetime .666 winning percentage at Riis Park is their highest winning percentage at any venue in the CMBA. Former Ranger Mark Wegren turned Aviator faces the old mates in this intra-divisional match up.

Beer Count - 5/13/07

After dropping an Opening Day heartbreaker, the Rangers once again drowned their sorrows at Gio's Sports Bar and Grill. In the process, the Rangers tied their season high with 11 pitchers drank and a $132 tab.

That brings the season total to 45 pitchers drank and a total bar tab of $556.23.

The Rangers are averaging 6.42 pitchers drank per bar visit putting them on pace to drink 211 pitchers through the 2007 practice and regular season.

Chicago Rangers and Hooters-O'Hare Ink Deal

The Chicago Rangers and Hooters of O'Hare have come to terms on a sponsorship agreement for the upcoming 2007 season.

The Rangers have tenatively scheduled their first Hooter's visit of 2007 for Thursday, May 24th after their contest versus the Park Ridge Marlins at Southwest Park.

The Rangers open up the 2007 campaign this Sunday, May 13th as they take on the Yankess at 9:30 am at Winnemac Park.

Luecke Imposes Alcohol Restrictions for Rangers

In the wake of Cardinals reliever Josh Hancock’s alcohol-related fatal car accident, Lucas Luecke, chief financial officer of the Chicago Rangers, has handed down alcohol restrictions for the six-year-old franchise.

“We need to keep our Rangers safe and set a good example for all the youngsters out there who aspire to be like their heroes,” Luecke said during a Miller Lite-fueled press conference held at Gio’s 20 minutes before a 9:30 a.m. practice game against the Hounds. “We want everyone to be safe and, more importantly, alive.”

Luecke also laid out the scenarios when the Rangers would be allowed to imbibe, which include:
• After a Ranger hits a home run
• Before a Ranger could potentially hit a home run
• After the Rangers turn a double play
• After the Rangers hit into a triple play
• After a Ranger misses a sign
• After two Rangers miss a hit-and-run sign
• After three Rangers miss a hit-and-run sign
• During manager Tim Brannon’s “don’t argue with the ump” speech
• After Brannon is ejected for arguing with an ump
• To commemorate a long foul ball hit by Luecke
• Celebrating yet another Panatsis on the way
• Chris Rivera’s herpes clearing up
• Mike LaRocco making an overhand cutoff throw
• Matt Swary finding his way to a game
• Mention of a “noozle”

Beer Count - 5/7/07

While some of the details are unclear, the Rangers drank an estimated 4 pitchers of beer with a tab of $41.13 after practice on Monday, May 7.

That brings this year's beer total to 34 pitchers and a tab of $424.23.

Not Quite Leslie Gore, But Still Cool

Imagine this song* blaring at the Michigan Inn as we pour pitchers of ice cold Miller Lite on each other after wiping the floor with the Browns in the CMBA championship.

Then imagine Chad wearing a white t-shirt during the celebration.

Visualization is key, gentlemen.

*Discovery courtesy Danny Manson, who is of New York descent.

Ranger goals this season

1. Miss less than 50% of our signs.
2. Win 20 games
3. Drink 350+ pitchers
4. Force Rivera to actually show up to the bar
5. See if we can beat last year's record and get River shit face drunk in less than 15 minutes

Good Luck Team

Ranger #50

With his addition to the Rangers 2007 roster today, Nick Monroe becomes the 50th Chicago Ranger in the club's storied 6 year history. Nick is currently a sophomore at Oberlin College and will wear jersey 99 this season.

Sunday 5/6/07 Practice Game Cancelled

The practice game, originally scheduled for Sunday, May 6 versus the Hounds has been cancelled due to a lack of available players.

Our next and final practice will be tomorrow, Monday, May 7 at 5:30 pm at Winnemac Park.

Soccer Sucks

God Damn Right!

http://www.soccersucks.net/

5/5/07 - Updated Beer Count

For reasons unbeknownst to this blogger, Gio's was not open at 11:00 am this morning. Instead, the Rangers did their drinking down the street at The Rail.

Today, the Rangers drank a season high 11 pitchers of beer to go along with a tab of $135.75.

That brings this season's total to 30 pitchers and a tab of $383.10.

Communists Cancel Practice Game

Due to the Communists occupying our left field area, our practice game versus the Hounds, scheduled for Saturday, May 5 has been re-scheduled for Sunday, May 6 at 2:00 pm at Taft High School. Please be to the field no later than 1:30 pm.

Ranger Road Trip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9rjSJtttfA

More Important Than Learning the Signs

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way
When you're in love to stay.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way'
Cause you're in love, you're in love,
And love is here to stay!

2007 Beer Count

To bring you up to speed:

Practice 4/15/07 : 2 pitchers, $38.77 tab

Practice 4/17/07 : 2 pitchers, $37.93 tab

Practice 4/22/07 : 9 pitchers, $104.90 tab

Practice 5/1/07 : 6 pitchers, $65.75 tab

This brings the 2007 season totals to 19 pitchers and a $247.35 tab.