Da Bears!

Im sure you guys already know, the Bears will be starting there Super Bowl run in San Diego on Sep. 9th. I want to invite all the Rangers (and wives) to my place. I'll have burgers and brats. If you want to bring anything special to cook or drink please do. Game time is 3:15 but feel free to stop in anytime after 1:00. If interested or need directions here is my e-mail izz5@myway.com

Soldier Field Tailgate for the Hawkeys

Hello all, and I am sorry that I was unable to be there yesterday, but I feel fortunate to have been a part of Ranger history and enjoyed my season with you guys! Even though I was not included on the Rookie email shout, I still am glad to have shared the field of battle with you, my brothers. I am working out my future contract with GM Lucas, and hopefully will come to terms on a long term deal.

As far as this weekend goes, if you dont have a place to be Saturday, I am hosting a tailgate at Soldier Field for the Hawkeye vs NIU game and would love to see you there for refreshment, food and lovely sporty ladies ready for Hot Rangers action. For you that are married, you can enjoy the view. RSVP to my email for details on the festivities, adamkubey@yahoo.com, or always join the facebook Rangers page!
QB

Congrats on a Great Season!

While it is dissapointed that we did not overtake the Marlins, it was still a historic season for the Chicago Rangers! I wouyld like to thank everyone for making it one of the most enjoyable seasons to watch and keep book of. Special thanks go to Tim, who guided us to a franchise best record of 23 and 4 in the regular season, Luke, who was a mastermind at GM and a wizard on the grounds Crew, and to everyone else who supported the team.

Thank you to all of our "rookies" this year who contibuted so much, Alonzo, Tony, Jody, and Big Jon all who could have been team MVP's. And who can forget my little brother, Dr. Nick Monroe, who provided the feistyness and youthful exuberance when we needed it.

We will be back next year, with the hunger for that CMBA Championship, and make next year even better than this year!

Friday 8/24 Postponed

Tonight's game has been postponed.

The updated schedule is:

Game 2 : Monday, August 27 - 7:15 pm at Grosche
Game 3 : Tuesday, August 28 - 7:15 pm at Grosche

Rangers contract West Nile Virus

Every member of the Chicago Rangers has come down with the West Nile virus. It might have something to do with the 80 million mosquitoes that call Grosche Field home.

Wrigley Web Cam

You can all watch me walk in (late) and out (early) of work now. Or, you can watch me cross the street with little Asian men.

http://www.cubworld.com/category/a_cubworld_cam

Monday 8/20/07 PPD

Monday's game has been postponed.

We will play Game #1 this Wednesday, August 22 at 7:15 pm at Grosche.

Ranger Mania Sweeping Chicago IV

Ranger Mania Sweeping Chicago III

Crime of the Century

Call 911! Someone has stolen the large Rangers hat and replaced it with a 40th Birthday Top Hat!

I bet it was the Marlins!

Ranger Ultimate Fighting Matches

The schedule is finally out and the contracts have been signed…so, let’s get it on! All fights will take place at Gio’s or Isaiah’s backyard after Gio’s.

The Under Cards:
1. Tim “The Red” Brannon vs. Lucas “The Brain” Luecke – The Fight for control of the Rangers

2. Eric “EMO/The Best” Morrissey vs. Tony “Touch” Litzey – Battle of the SS

3. Mike “Sock EM’” LaRocco vs. Nick “Tough Guy” Monroe – Sibling rivalry (Fighting for their father’s love)

4. Isaiah “The Disciple” Panatsis vs. Alonzo “Zo” Hillard – Battle of the heavy hitters

5. Chad “Big Fella” Pilcher vs. “Big” John Kohn – Battle of the Bigs

6. Kevin “The Godfather” Casey vs. Anthony “Made Man” Mazzone – Irish Mafia vs. Italian Mafia or The Mick vs. The Dego

Featured Fights:
1. Tag Team: Kevin “The Godfather aka Captain Quadro aka Bush Lite” Casey & Jody “bowlegs” Joseph vs. Tim Brannon & Lucas Luecke – Yeah, baby!

2. “Big” Joe Dlugosz vs. Matt “Swampy” Swary – This could easily be the Main Event

3. Kana vs. Amanda – Lady Rangers (This fight will take place in oil)

Main Event:Matt “What the fuck is problem?” Brooks vs. Chris “Riv/River” Rivera – Battle of the bean poles

Other possible/future matches:
1. Mike “Sock EM’” LaRocco vs. Brian “The Temper” Salgado – Fight for control of the old hood

2. James “5 Pitch” Keathley vs. Isaiah “The Disciple” Panatsis – The Battery

3. Brian “The Temper” Salgado vs. Chris “Riv/River” Rivera – The Tempers collide

4. Matt “What the fuck is problem?” Brooks vs. Jody “Bowlegs” Joseph – The Breakup

5. Kevin “The Godfather” Casey vs. Jody “Bowlegs” Joseph – New Skool vs. Ol’ Skool

6. Colin “Cool” Clark vs. Lucas “The Brain” Luecke – For control of Wrigley FieldEric “EMO/The Best” Morrissey vs. Jody “Bowlegs” Joseph – The Subway Series because this time it’s for real

Ranger Mania Sweeping Chicago II

Ranger Quote Board Continued

1. Yeah, baby! – Kevin Casey

2. Did your wife go to college? – Beth (James girlfriend)

3. Tim’s like a little kid. – Isaiah Panatsis

4. Tony molested that ball…he pissed all over it! – Tim Brannon

5. You come after me; I’ll put you on your ass! – Nick Monroe

6. Luke, call me back it’s an emergency. I have 5 loads of laundry I have to do TONIGHT and I need to know where there’s a laundry mat (Swary lives in the city and on one of the busiest intersections). – Matt Swary

7. Sorry, it’s my fault…I didn’t realize I wasn’t supposed to put a cup of coffee with in a hundred feet of LaRocco. – Tim Brannon

8. Yeah, that day we were at your house drunk and you broke out your guns…that probably wasn’t the best idea! – Tim Brannon

9. We should play Big John at shortstop; they can’t hit it over his head. - Alonzo Hillard

10. Oh, I remember you!!! (Referring to Matt Mykowski) - Alonzo Hillard

11. I’ll rip your fucking head off! – Louis Lewis

12. He’s meat (referring to every pitcher in the league)! - Isaiah Panatsis

13. Jesus, can we get a black guy on this team that can jump? – Matt Swary

14. You’re the best, Emo! – Everybody

15. Jody, Kana’s not really black, she’s just really tan. – Tim Brannon

16. Just because I’m having sex with Kana doesn’t mean I’m Luke! – Tim Brannon

17. I told you already Tim is incapably of impregnating a woman…every! - Isaiah Panatsis

18. How many times do I have to tell you…nobody here went to fucking DePaul! - Tim Brannon

19. (Conversation Between Jody and Tim):
--> Jody: How the hell can you sit on a full cup of coffee? How does that happen? Who does that?
--> Tim: Jody, meet Mike!

20. (Conversation Between Beth and James):
--> James: Last year there was a gang fight at Altgeld Park and they cut a kids head off.
--> Beth: Is he dead?
--> James: Ah…Yeah, usually when someone’s head is cut off, they die!

Ranger Mania Sweeping Chicago

Chicago Rangers GM Lucas Luecke received the honorary key to the city this morning in a ceremony at City Hall.

In a brief ceremony held at the mayor's office, Luecke was congratulated on a great season given best wishes for the upcoming CMBA championship against the Park Ridge Marlins.

Daley commented "let's go out and prove once again that Park Ridge can't hold Chicago's jock"

Daley proclaimed today as Chicago Ranger Day and went on to say that "the Chicago Rangers can drink on me anytime as long as I am running this city."

Braves Manager Cox shows Rangers Brannon how to get tossed

Atlanta Braves Manager, Bobby Cox, became the all-time leader in ejections. Cox was tossed after the fifth inning Tuesday night, breaking John McGraw's record for career ejections. Rangers manager, Tim Brannon, acknowledged the feat and claimed that he still has plenty of time to catch up with the venerable Cox. He mentioned that the Rangers will be playing at Grosche Field next week and said that playing at Grosche has always fired him up. In fact he has the most ejections in his career at the Waukegan park. The last time he was thrown out of a game in Waukegan, Brannon insisted that the the dismissal was "the best call the ump made all game." With this type of attitude and Brannon's temper, there is no doubt that one day he will surpass Cox.

Rainbow Connections by the Tone Rangers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS86kR1gZ4w

Buffalo vs. Lion vs. Crocodile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM

From the Harem

One starred in Reba, while the other starred on the Loyola Baseball Field.

MVP Speech

Thanks for eveyone that voted for me as the team mvp, it was an honor. I hoped that I gained the respect of hard-nose player this year by given it my all every game I played in. John as for you there will be no A-Rod slump in the playoffs baby, we popin bottles wednesday night; it's on marlins that ass is ours, on by the way I want your ass out of my house I ain't fucked all week; just kidding. Lets bring monday fellows.

SWOMP is the new WOMP!

That’s right SWOMP not to be confused with SWAMP (beloved Ranger Matt Swary) has become the new official saying of the Chicago Rangers. It appears that the Rangers have not only accepted the change with open arms but they love it. Kevin Casey (the Rangers All-Star leadoff hitter) was asked what thought about the change to SWOMP and quickly responded (while leaning back and clapping), “Yeah, baby!” All-Star catcher Isaiah Panatsis backed SWOMP by stating with authority, “WOMP’s done, Son!” He continued on to say, “It’s all about SWOMP, sucka!” Isaiah did say that it wasn’t any easy decision for him to make and that he came to the decision after hours of praying and talking to God. “God spoke to me and told me this was the right thing to do, so anybody that’s not on-board with the change all I can say is…FUCK YO COUCH!” Rangers GM, Luke Luecke when asked about the change summed it up the best by saying, “I like it, I really do and here’s why…it’s the perfect blend and it just brings everything all together”. Having the Rangers GM (The CMBA’s GM of the Year) endorsing the change to SWOMP truly validates the change and makes it official. So, the next time you raise your glasses to cheers the Chicago Rangers remember to say it loudly and proudly, “SWOMP”!

Top Gun Rangers Style

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXxi9IKZSA

Ranger Thriller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o

Ghost Ride the Volvo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlTvSUCCqPo

Tim is MAD

Pitcher turned slugger

Every Ranger Clap Your Hands!

Learn this immediately.

Tuesday 8/7 Continuation PPD

Tonight's continuation of Game 2 has been postponed due to unplayable field conditions.

We will resume game 2 tomorrow (Wednesday, August 7) at 5:30 pm at Taft High School.

Rangers Anger Norse Gods!

Thor, the Viking God of Thunder and War, brought the thunder and rain to Chicago in order to delay the Rangers from Advancing to the Second round of the CMBA Playoffs yesterday. Big Jon the Viking Slayer stole Thor's hammer and subsequently silenced the Viking Bats, holding them to 3 runs through 9 strong innings. Thor invoked his fellow divine compadre Loki, the god of mischief, to try and distract the Rangers on Saturday with Gio's Shots, which tasted less like 'tussin than ever before. Hilarity did ensue, but all Ranger players are safe and ready to take on the Norse Warriors again tonite at Taft High School.

(See, classical studies can come in useful once in a while!)

Playoff Schedule Change

Due to Sunday's postponement, the following schedule changes have been made:

Game 2: Monday, August 6th - 5:30 pm at Taft High School
Game 3 (if necessary): Tuesday, August 7th - 5:30 pm at Winnemac Park

Chicago Rangers Supporters Club

We need these guys at our games.

Rangers Entrance Music

Chicago Rangers are going high tech and are going to have entrance music for each player, please blog your song. I am already going to say Fuck You Tim Brannon for his smart aleck reply.

Rangers Double Take XI

A Given

Ranger Heavyweights Suspended for Drug Use

On the same day that the great Neifi "I play everyday because I have incriminating pictures of Dusty Baker" Perez was suspended for 80 games for his 3rd drug violation, the Rangers announced today that 6 foot, 160-pound Matt Brooks and his Puerto Rican twin, 6'1'', 150-pound, Chris Rivera have been suspended by team owner Lucas Luecke for performance enhancing drugs. Mr. Luecke said, " The organization is deeply saddened that we have to go through this the day before the playoffs, but this type of thing damages the integrity of the game." Team manager, Tim Brannon said that " They will be sorely missed. It is too bad they felt that they had to go to these measures to improve their performance on the field. " RIP River and Brooksie...Jody will definitley miss you.

Ranger Doubletakes X

For those who don't recognize the puppet pictured, his name is Tim.

Ranger Doubletake IX

Were Kubey and Casey on a date?

Rangers Doubletake VIII

Rangers Doubletake VII

Rangers Double Take VI

Ranger Doubletakes, V

The White Sox media guide says two scouts discovered Mark Buehrle while he pitched at Jefferson Junior College in Missouri. The truth is a cab pulled up next to Buehrle as he walked home after a night of boozing and a disembodied voice said, "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Come with me tonight." Buehrle jumped in the cab to discover the voice belonged to Ron Schueler, White Sox GM at the time. The rest, as they say, is history.

Casey, do you realize what you may have passed up while fearing for your safety?