In a moment of weakness due to an emotionally unstable day devoid of Tim Brannon's presence at Gio's, Rangers' head-honcho has announced that the team will finally don new uniforms in the upcoming 2008 season.
Evidently a distant-cousin of Matt Swary's jock, this new look for the Rangers will inevitably enhance the team's already prolific reputation for being the gayest bunch of drunks in the CMBA.
Every active Ranger has expressed some form of disdain to this announcement, at varying levels of disgust, except, inexplicably, Kevin Casey. To this point, Casey is the "Lone Ranger" to accept the change with open arms. Casey said, profoundly, "After a brief tenure back in California for the 2006 season, I was reminded how acceptable homoeroticism is in this day and age. It is a valuable sign of the changing times that we Rangers are so open with one another."
The Notre Dame University Graduate School of Business, in turn, rescinded Casey's admission in to the full-time MBA program. His academic records have been filed side-by-side with the Fab 5's lack-o-existence at the University of Michigan.
Isaiah Panatsis, the Rangers' emotional leader, had this to say: " ".
Profound.
No word yet on whether the new garb will be available for the winter meetings, or if CMBA commish Ron Markowicz will allow for such blatant disregard of the CMBA's standing uniform policy.
