Ranger Baseball Cards (Part 33)

Petey “Pedro” Monroe, the younger brother of current Ranger Nick Monroe, retired from the Rangers after a 3 season tenure stretching from the 2008 through 2010 seasons. Petey and Nick were the second brother combination to play for the Rangers, but the first non-twin combo (Keston and Kelvin McCabe). Their younger brother, Mike Monroe, will be a Ranger for the 2011 season, making them the first set of three brothers to play for the Rangers. There is a fourth Monroe in the farm system, but he has another 15 years before he is eligible to play!

Petey came to the Rangers after the start of the 2008 season when the team was short players. In a bungled management move by Ranger CFO Mike LaRocco, Pete did not get his # 24 jersey numbered for the entire season. He instead had a taped on number that represented “Z4”, and the nickname stuck among the team, the umpires, and the rest of the league. His correctly numbered jersey arrived for the 2009 season and a jersey presentation ceremony was held at home plate. He wore that jersey for exactly one game before it was replaced by the new style Ranger jersey. League officials were asked if the letter “Z” could be used on his jersey instead of the number “2”, but that suggestion was shot down.

The best game of Pedro’s career was on July 2, 2008 against the Browns at Winnemac Park. The Rangers were struggling through the 2008 season and desperately needed a good game against the first place Browns. Petey went 3 for 4 with his only career Home Run, drove in 3 runs, and scored 1 run in an 8-2 Ranger victory, one of only 8 wins the Rangers had that entire season.

Pete’s best season was the 2008 season where he hit .321, had 17 hits, and drove in 8 runs. In his 3 seasons, Pete had a .253 batting average, 39 hits, scored 23 runs, and had 26 RBI. During the 2009 season, Petey and Matt Swary would also perform as a grounds-crew act every half inning, running out and raking the infield. It was very entertaining for teammates and fans alike In addition to this fanfare, an underground movement within the Ranger organization gained traction. Led by Mark Wegren, this movement sought to have Petey become the protagonist in a series of short stories entitled, “The Adventures of Little Petey Monroe”. Unfortunately the Rangers could not sell this idea to any publishers and until funding is found, this project is on the backburner.

Pete graduated from Grinnell College in Iowa and is back in the Chicagoland area. He will not be with the Rangers full time in 2011 but will be an emergency player if the need arises. Team president Luke Luecke would like all three Monroe Boys to be on the field at the same time at some point in the 2011 season. Combine that combination with getting all 5 Mikes on the field at the same time would be quite an accomplishment! The Rangers wish Petey the best on graduating to the “Real World”, even though as anyone can tell you, the real world sucks.

Ranger Baseball Cards (Part 32)

Godfather, Busch Light, Captain Cuatro……whatever you know him by, you will never forget him. The myth is a man named Kevin Casey, and what you call him is up to you. Kevin joined the Rangers for the 2003 season during an illustrious Loyola Club Baseball Career. In one of his earliest appearances at Loyola, Busch Light did not show up to Centennial Forum at the appropriate time before a double header against Columbia in the spring of 2002. Team Captain Vince Caringi decided the team could not wait any longer for their starting pitcher and left without him. When the Ramblers got to the field, there was a figure sleeping on the bench wearing a tuxedo jacket over his baseball uniform. Yes, it was Kevin Casey. When asked about his appearance, Kevin, in no shape to pitch game 1, babbled about drinking Busch Light the night before. He did not know where his car was, and wasn’t sure the tuxedo jacket was even his. Hence the moniker “Busch Light”. While he did not pitch Game 1 that day, he did coach third base in his tuxedo jacket and managed to pull himself together to throw a one hit complete game victory in Game 2!
Kevin captained the Loyola Club team for their inaugural National Club Baseball Association season in 2004 and went winless. Kevin’s Loyola Career ended with a loss in Madison, only he did not play in the game. He was frantically searching downtown Madison for his car keys. As it turns out, Rambler right-fielder Chris Stearns had the keys since the night before. Chris did not realize he had Kevin’s keys until the team arrived back in Chicago!
Godfather has been a solid player for the Rangers while pitching, playing second base, shortstop,and the outfield. Offensively, Kevin has been among the team leaders every year during his tenure, which stretches from 2003 to 2005 and then from 2007 to present. The 2006 season was spent with a San Francisco team called the Mad Dogs, who believed in the “Five I’s.” Supposedly the “Five I’s” were Incompetence, Impotence, Ignorance, Idiocy, and Inbreeding; a perfect rallying cry for a team of tools.
Kevin threw a memorable two hitter against the Oriole Park Cubs on July 12th, 2003 at Taft High School. Unfortunately for Kevin and the Rangers, he shook off a fastball called by Ranger catcher Isaiah Panatsis and instead decided to throw a Split-Finger pitch he was working on. Isaiah knew better, but let Kevin throw the pitch. Well, of course he hung it, and the Cub batter hit a solo home run. The Rangers lost the no-hitter, lost the shutout, and ultimately lost the game 1-0. Kevin did technically throw a no hitter against the Aviators that resulted in a 15-0 win for the Rangers on June 26th, 2005. It is a no-hitter, but does it actually count since the game was ended in four innings due to Slaughter-Rule?
There have been many other antics during Godfather’s Ranger tenure, including but not limited to: falling off barstools, breaking glasses, telling teammates he is “Pressing Charges” against them, sweeping the floor of Gio’s, laying down on home plate after getting beaned, and other general mischief and mayhem.
Kevin’s statistics rank him among the career leaders in almost every offensive category. He has a career .385 Batting Average, 167 Hits, 158 Runs, 92 RBI’s, and 67 Stolen Bases. Kevin has also been a solid pitcher, although arm issues have limited him in recent years. Godfather is a cornerstone of the Ranger franchise and his antics on and off the field are what make the Rangers a great team to play for.

Ranger Baseball Cards (Part 31)

Two outs, top of the seventh, down by one run, tying and winning runs on second and third respectively, Matt Swary at the plate. Would he be a hero or a goat? If you know Swary, you already know the answer to that question. “I knew I would strike out, I was distracted!” Rangers as a group ask, “What distracted you, what the hell are you talking about?” Swary replied, “The Rainbow, there was a rainbow in Right Field!” That’s right, Swary was distracted by a rainbow and took three straight pitches right down the middle of the plate and the Rangers lost 6-5 to the Maywood Braves (now the Mets). And this is the legend behind Leslie Gore’s “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” being the official theme song for the Rangers.
Swary is a man of many names : Swary, Matt Swary, Swampy, Swampass, Swaggle, Swagglestick, Swagg, Swaggletoothed-Tiger, Swagadocious, Docious, Hocious-Docious, Swaggle-daggle-ding-dong, and many more lost to copious consumption of beer.

An original Ranger, Swaggle experienced a career year in 2010, culminating by hitting an over the fence home run in the CMBA Championship against he Marlins. Another career highlight is hitting a Walk-off Home run against the Electrons in 2008 during a 2 week tear that had the Rangers campaigning Swary for MVP. That effort was crestfallen when Swaggle did not get a hit the rest of the season. Swaggle also has a penchant for giving up Game-Winning grand slams. He once gave up Game-Losing walk-off grand slams in consecutive appearances vs. the Browns and Vikings, prompting sponsorship calls from Denny’s and their Grand-Slam Breakfast!

Other highlights include kicking down the door in the men’s room at Gios after a playoff game in 2007, consistently showing up to the wrong park for games and telling the Rangers and the opposing teams that they were at the wrong park, calling Ranger teammates at all hours of the night to find out useless information like “Where can I find a Laundromat?” or “How do I get to the Post Office?” and also giving Luke’s Mom a ride on his motorcycle through the Mississippi valley. Swary also does not believe the Ranger Weather hotline has enough information on it. When a game is cancelled, he wants all the details. One Particular morning he calls Luke after calling the Weather hotline to ask “Why is the game cancelled?” Luke’s, drunk groggy 6 AM response was, “Swag, look outside, its pouring!” Swary responded, “Oh, I am in New York, I just wanted to know why the game was called!” He was concerned about the cancellation of a game he had no intention of even showing up to, not being in the same time zone as the rest of the Rangers.

During a Beer-Pong tournament hosted by The Harem, Swaggle decided it was time to take his pants off. When the partygoers yelled, “Swary, what the hell are you doing, why did you take your pants off?”, Swaggle responded “Because I can’t find my shoes!”. Classic Swary, in his mind, it made perfect sense! It is scary to think that Swary is now the manager of the Rangers. Are his shenanigans planned to take the pressure off the rest of the team, or is he a bumbling lovable character? The Rangers still have not figured that out, but whatever happens in 2011, it will be interesting!

Ranger Baseball Card (Part 29)

Brad “9.8” Wiegand had a short one-year and one game Ranger career spanning the 2009 and 2010 seasons. A graduate of Occidental College, Brad was primarily an emergency pitcher during his Ranger tenure. Brad claimed to possess a variety of pitches, but to opposing hitters, they all looked the same, slow enough to not break the speed limit. To be honest, his pitches did have movement, they all dropped due to the effects of gravity, explaining the “9.8” moniker. For those of you who are not science minded individuals, gravity exerts a force of 9.8 meters/second on a free falling object. In two Ranger at bats, both in 2009, Brad had one walk and one strikeout. His time on the mound was limited, the few starts he had he could not command his pitches and had a tough time finding the strike zone. In 7 2/3 innings, Brad was 0-1 with a 10.05 ERA, surrendering 15 Walks and 12 Hits, but did manage to strikeout 6. After the 2010 season, Brad moved to Scottsdale, Arizona where he and his pooch Tillman now reside.

Chicago Rangers Baseball Cards (Part 28)

Ed Arambula came to the Rangers from East Chicago, Illinois. Previously coached by Jon Kohn, Ed came in at the end of the 2010 season to help the Rangers out with a pitching shortage and played a stellar infield as well. Ed appeared in 5 Regular season games, hitting .625 with 10 Hits and scoring 10 runs. His presence was needed on the mound, pitching 3 1/3 innings, giving up 1 hit, 1 walk and striking out 6. Ed used the Rangers as a rehab assignment coming back from Tommy John Surgery and he threw straight gas, making a mockery of CMBA hitters. Ed appeared in one Playoff game against The Hounds, throwing two innings before he had to leave to return to college. He is currently enrolled at Southeastern Community College in Iowa where he is a member of their Baseball Team, the Blackhawks. The Rangers hope to have Ed back in 2011 to help him along on his rehab and to study his domination of CMBA hitters.

Ranger Baseball Cards (Part 26)

Former Ranger catcher Dan O’Malley put the anger in “RANGER”! Dan played for the Rangers from 2003-2005, appeared at one practice in 2006 and then retired to pursue other opportunities. Dan came from the Loyola Club Baseball Minor League system as part of the duo of all-pro catchers, joining Isaiah Panatsis in that club. Most baseball teams struggle to find one decent catcher, the Rangers were lucky to have two excellent options. A die hard Cubs fan Dan also rooted for the Packers, which never sat well with the Rangers. He was roommates with Kevin “Busch Light” Casey and Jason “Wheezy” Keydel for a while, then along with his cat Azreal, formed the odd couple roommate situation with Lucas Luecke. Dan is best remembered for losing his pants after an evening out at Maifest in Lincoln Square. Kevin Casey woke up the next morning to find Dan in his boxers sleeping on their front porch. Kevin later received a call from Chicago’s Finest asking if he knew a Dan O’Malley, which he reluctantly confirmed. The police told him they had Dan O’Malley’s pants, along with his wallet, keys, and cell phone and that they were found in some ladies backyard. Classic Ranger’s drinking. Dan was also involved in a fistfight at Gio’s with then Ranger Manager Tim Brannon, which prompted a series of late night phonecalls between Team President Lucase Luecke, CEO Mike LaRocco (both of whom were not at Gio’s for some reason), and an incoherent Kevin Casey (who was at Gio’s). LaRocco and Luecke sprang to action on a damage control plan that was not needed (thank goodness, it was not a good plan); since neither O’Malley or Brannon even remembered their late night fisticuffs. Dan’s fiery personality is missed, along with his .359 career batting average. You can find him today working at a beer stand at Wrigley Field along the Right Field Line.

Chicago Rangers Baseball Cards (Part 25)

Alex Christian’s Ranger career got off to a really bad start. Very early in the 2004 season, Alex became embroiled in a “disagreement” with the Loyola University Financial Aid Department, yelling at the poor girl on the other end of the phone. Little did he know, the girl he was yelling at was a girl who was near and dear to the Rangers. When she vented about how “little Alexander Christian” had ruined her day to her favorite Ranger and the connection was made, Alex was promptly given a stern lecture about how to behave the “Ranger Way”. Alex was a big, strong, left-handed pitcher who hit right-handed. He had a lethal pick off move that every team complained was a balk. Even after getting warned not to get picked off by their managers, opposing runners would still get picked off! Alex hit a Home Run at Grosche Field against the Browns that helped the Rangers to their first ever victory against that club on June 3rd, 2004. Alex’s Ranger career came to an end on July 31st 2005 during a playoff game against those very same Browns at Winnemac. He was thrown out of the game when the Rangers were down big, packed up his gear, and went home. He did not realize that the team came back and won to force a pivotal game 3. Alex was not able to attend Game 3, which the Rangers lost in dramatic fashion. His moniker on the team was “Stupid”, which he obviously hated. Alex currently works in Washington D.C. doing something with energy credits to emerging countries, or some bullshit like that, a fine waste of our tax dollars.

Chicago Rangers Baseball Cards (Part 6)

Jason Thorn, the only man who could possibly compete with Bob Wacker for the "Champion of Life" Moniker. A valuable Utility player from 2003 to 2006, Jason suffered a career threatening injury when he was beaned in the arm by a Henry Peters fastball against the A's at Portage Park. The ball shattered both the ulna and radius bones and required several plates and screws in order to let the bones heal properly. Chief Rangers Paramedic Chad Pilcher diagnosed him on the spot and dispatched him to the nearest orthopedic surgeon.
Thorny is yet another Loyola Club baseball player and once hit two home runs at Loyola Park against the Seminarians of St. Joes. He was a champion on road trips and if the Rangers ever go on a road trip tournamnet, he will be forced to be on the team! A lifelong Cubs fan, Thorn's license plate once read "Ryno 282" and wore number 17 in honor of Mark Grace. Jason currently resides in Chicago and works downtown.

Chicago Rangers Baseball Cards (Part 4)

Bob Wacker, Charter Member of the "Life" Hall of Fame.  Bob known as "Mr. Clutch" on the field for his ability to come through in key spots in games and also as an All-Star in all off the field festivities.  Bob hit former A's fireballer Henry Peters better than any other Ranger, he loved to see a hard thrower on the hill.  Bob's "Mr. Clutch nickname was coined on July 25th 2003 when in the seventh inning during a comeback against the A's, Bob stole second base as the tying run with two outs.  A daring move if you know Bob's blazing speed.  The game was continued the next day and won on a Matt Swary sacrifice bunt.  Bob was also one of the best bunters in the Rangers organization, breaking a team wide zero for 26 bunting streak.  Ranger Master recruiter Lucas Luecke also discovered Wacker's talents while coaching the Loyola Rambler Club baseball team.  To live up to his name, Wacker also missed five wake up calls before a game against Marquette while a Rambler and needed to be physically accosted and brought to the team van to be the catcher for a doubleheader, truly living up to his "Life" Hall of Fame membership.

Bob Currently lives in the Dogtown area of St. Louis with his wife Kate and a new baby.  He also currently acts as a financial advisor to several current Rangers.  His presence is missed on the field but more importantly, off the field.